Emotions & Sex



Is stress and anxiety effecting your relationship, your life, your sex life? Stress does affect sexual pleasure, not just for women but for men also. Stress can be responsible for that fizzle in your sizzle.
Stress is the physiological and neurological process that helps you deal with threats. It can trigger a cascade of stress hormones that produce physiological changes. A stressful incident can make the heart pound and breathing quicken. Muscles tense and beads of sweat appear, it can also make you want to run, flea from life so to speak-emotionally leave your relationship.
Those psychological threats can be from your day to day life or they can also be happening when you are having sex and prevent you from having and orgasm. I speak to many couples, and this is a typical response.
If you have children; women carry more stress in the day to day choirs of looking after the family, even thinking about sex, and having to perform, and keeping your partner happy in the bedroom can also add to that stress. 
Women's brains find it hard to switch off to the long list of jobs that need to be performed on a daily basis, not only for the children, but the running of the house and your partner.
By night time you are feeling mentally and physically exhausted, you get into bed and your partner-husband wants sex and that is the last thing on your mind; your limbo has left the building, locked away. 

 Love, according to the parable, is the pursuit of our own wholeness. We wander the earth in search of our lost half. And when two halves find each other, as Aristophanes says in in Plato’s Symposium.
 “the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another.”
If someone is lucky enough to find their other half , then he experiences the feeling of infinite security and the wish to never let the other one go.

So how do you get your libido back, unlock your own chest to want to have pleasure, a very common question asked.
 Communication there's that word again. Yes readers communication between you and your partner.
If you are the person in your relationship carrying the majority of the load, weather that be you are a working-mother and Goddess, or you are at stay at home domestic Goddess, you are not a machine, even though you quite often feel this way.
Which ever Goddess you are, you are still a women at the end of the day, and you just wanted to be treated just like that; a Goddess, and feel appreciated for all you do.

Write down a list of choirs you do on a daily basis, then write down a list of choirs your partner-or husband does on a daily basis. 
Show your partner the list, discuss how they need to take some of the pressures of you.
Tell your partner you want to have sex, but by the end of the day you have no energy left to do that, tell them you are feeling stressed.
Tell them you want to feel appreciated, because lets face it ladies how many times have you thought in your relationship you have felt under appreciated for all you do. But this goes both ways, you also have to appreciate your partner as well.

Its so easy to become complacent with each other, take each other for granted, and this then begins to effect your relationship, causing stress. 

Take time for yourself, everyone needs that, men and women. Go for a walk, or yoga, try relaxing and read a book, or listen to music while you have your alone time in the bath. 
If you are looking in the mirror hating the reflection that looks back at you, of course this is going to cause stress on your body. When you don't like who you are looking back at, of course is going to effect the way you perceive yourself- lets face it, and lets say it, because that's exactly what you are thinking "I look like crap". Even though you really don't, but that's how you feel to yourself.

Ladies you do deserve some pampering, and you don't have to go to a spa to do this. Let's face it spa's are expensive. 
You can go to your local chemist and buy a few essentials for your own spa day at home.
Face mask, body and bath oils, candles.
If you haven't shaved or waxed those legs and bikini line in awhile, now is the time to take action. 
Go and get your nails done or a pedicure, go on treat yourself.
Go to your hairdresser get a hair cut, or a completely new hair style.
Buy a new outfit, again you don't have to break the bank doing so.
Here are some very simple tips that are not going to break the bank to getting that sizzle back in your relationship and sex life. Are you listening Guys and Women, please take notes.

* Tell your partner that you love and appreciate them every day.
* Tell your partner how beautiful and sexy they are.
* Share equally in the day to day tasks of looking after your home and family. It takes two people to make a relationship work. It's something you have to work on every day.
* Go to your newsagent or gift store and buy a little note pad of poems. My husband and i both do this. Each week we give each other a poem, no particular day of the week. I will get a surprise on my pillow or i will give my husband a poem with his breakfast.

Painting, which is visual, is similar to poetry which is auditory. Poetry, says Plato, arouses in an individual “all the desires and griefs and pleasures in the soul”

* Make you partner breakfast in bed, surprise them.
* Guys surprise your partner-wife with flowers at least once a month. Either from the florist, that you pick up yourself with a poem of appreciation for them. Or go to your local store and buy a bunch of flowers. You can buy flowers without it breaking the bank.
*Jewellery is another great way of showing your partner how much you love them appreciate them. It doesn't have to be expensive, you can buy something for under $50.
*  Surprise your partner with a gift- guys; women love perfume and many love launderette. If you don't know your partners size, then buy a gift voucher and gift wrap it. 
* Rent a movie; and no guys no action pack movies, something a little more mellow. Again a nice bottle of wine, a few candles. Sex doesn't have to always be in the bedroom.
* Put some romance back into your relationship with a candle lit dinner, you don't even have to go out to do this, you can do this at home. 
* Scented candles and flowers, nothing says love and romance more than candles and flowers do around a room.
*Give your partner a massage; again set the mood, this mood is candles, scented oils, soft music; you will feel the stress begin to leave your body.
* A romantic bath just the two of you. Candles around the room, bath oils, music, a little wine. Put the kids to bed early. Plan your night. It could be a week night or weekend. 
Have the kids sleep over at a family or friends house if they are that age. This is someone my husband and i do, we have other friends with children, so we take turns looking after each others children on a weekend so we all get to have a very romantic weekend with our partners, we either stay at home and do it, or we go and stay somewhere inexpensive a few times a year. This is just our time, no kids, just the two of us. And trust me it works when it comes to getting the sizzle and romance back into your relationship. 
If you do all of the above and when its just the two of you and no children to attend to, you will relax, you will find that key again and unlock your libido, your own treasure chest for the pleasure you deserve. 

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